20 years ago when I moved back to Queensbury after living in NYC, I found a mentor in Larry, the Director of Marketing for Jiminy Peak.  He invited me to Jiminy Peak taught me everything he knew about marketing. He was not my boss and he had no reason to be so generous with his time, except that he was truly an altruistic person who loved this art.  Mary Brandt was my next mentor, she taught me not to fall into the blame game.  She was open to new ideas (and I had quite a few of them) and we made them happen which brought business but due to my youth and inexperience, I did not plan each idea through as it should have been planned, this caused chaos.  When the other managers were angry (because we had too much business and not enough staff or fore-warning from me that there would be so much business)… she brought us all together in a positive learning environment and taught me how to learn from my mistakes in a positive way.

Next was working for Jeff Jacobs, a marketing genius who taught me to look and interpret stats, numbers and analytics.  We learned to “mail your buyers, mail your buyers, mail your buyers” and to decipher between one time buyers and loyal clients.

Now it’s my turn… who do I inspire? whose life do I change?   I really didn’t think anyone until I got this amazing email from my first graphic design assistant 20+ years ago.  How nice it was to hear from her… do I remember her, she asks… of course. This was my first thank you.   My first note ever to say I had a positive influence on her life.  How now, do I keep paying it forward?

At any rate, it’s pretty easy to publish to your blog on the go with the WordPress App. But alas no photo upload – that is disappointing.

I hope you will be outrageously confident… but never arrogant
I hope you will admire your competitors for what they do well and never dismiss them or mention the things they don’t do well
I hope you will respect those older than you and never assume they don’t know as much as you do
Have the poise and grace to admit what you don’t know and when you are wrong

These are mistakes I have made and here is the story…

I tend to charge at life fully confident in my knowledge of internet marketing and the world therein. I charge ahead knowing that I know my stuff. When that confidence crossed over to arrogance that’s when I was really humbled.

Lesson#1 in Humility: I thought I was prepared; I had researched the clients’ industry, business, case studies and their competitors before I meet with them- so I was the expert. But even in doing the research before a presentation last week, I was completely humbled as I did not know my subject well enough and I lacked the humility to admit it. When my slide was challenged, without full knowledge of the circumstances of the example, I forged ahead defending my position. After all, the man challenging me was much older than I and how could he know more than me about social media? I was informed that my audience knew nothing of social media marketing and I underestimated my audience and learned that no matter what feedback is offered one should always listen respectfully and ask questions. It’s okay not to always have the answers… my biggest regret, missing the opportunity to listen to my challenger’s answers and expertise.

Lesson #2 in Humility: There was once a guy, who asked me about my approach to internet marketing, I shared with him what I knew… years later – excited he tried to share with me what he knew… I dismissed his ideas as irrelevant. When the person’s business was brought up, I stooped so low as to say something negative about it. I don’t know what possessed me but I felt super convicted (your grandmother would say that was the Holy Spirit talkin’). A week later I saw a presentation that the “guy” had done… wow… I was blown away… he really did know his stuff.

So my dears, I hope…

You will be outrageously confident yet humble
You will admire your competition for where they excel & bite your tongue on their shortcomings..
You will never judge a book by its cover, always be respectful and listen..
Have the poise and grace to concede to those with more knowledge

However, when I saw where she was staying a big rubber tent with no screening… with no counselor in the tent, I freaked out.  Someone could snatch her up in the middle of the night, she could get bitten, she could be scared and not wake anyone up… on and on my mind went into every paranoid horrible possible outcome. 

She seemed fine when I left the camp, completely unaware of the potential danger her mother had left her in, I smiled and pretended all would be okay then I cried the whole way home.  As soon as I got home, I called the camp director and told her how freaked out I was, she assured me the counselors checked on the kids multiple times during the night and were in the very next tent over and heard everything. 

I cried some more and asked my husband if I was paranoid and crazy – he assured me that I was.  I emailed my friend whose daughter also went and was greatly relieved to know her husband was as tortured as much as me and wants also to go back and pick up his baby.  “Honey” I ask Mark “what do you think if I go pick her up now”… “it will not be good for her”… “oh… OK”, I know he’s right, he usually is. 

I’m a grown woman, 44, when I was a kid that was OLD… now I’m a mom and inside I feel so often like a little girl with emotions that overwhelm me from insecurities to fears but as adults we call them worries.  My little one is the most all-consuming of my kids, I feel guilty for wanting a break when I need one, I feel frustrated that I can never give her enough of me and sometimes she exhausts me, yet take her away for just one day and I’m lost.  I miss my little angel and now I’m the clingy one.

…

I just got back from picking her up.  When I went to sign her out the camp director said, “she really missed you quite a bit”… I looked at her for more information… “I mean well she was really tired and she was quite vocal about how much she missed you”… “all the time?, did she have any fun?”… “she enjoyed the crafts”.  This sent my head spinning, my eyes welled with tears again paranoia sets in waited to meet her. She looks dejected then sees me and runs and we hold each other and it is beautiful, I’m holding my angel and it feels so good!  Oh how I’ve missed her.

She doesn’t say much on the way home… she really liked Leah from Loudonville … there was one wasp, one mosquito and 14 spiders in the tent, there were three colors of caps, she got the middle color which meant she was a good swimmer but not in the best category, she notes that none of the kids her age got the best color, “if we wanted a counselor or to go to the bathroom at night, we had to wake up a friend to go get them” she says… “Sometimes we couldn’t find our flashlight or it didn’t work”… “did you like your counselor?” I ask… she shrugs.  “Would you like to go to a camp with your sister next year where you sleep in real cabins with doors?” “maybe” she answers…

My little one rarely expresses when things go wrong, I have no idea where her head is at or what really happened, but she seems fine.  And most likely, we are both stronger and better for the experience.

Come quick says Sean – this process takes 4 minutes and it will feed him for a week!   We go and sure enough there is a snake no thicker than my pinkie and he has hold of a fat frog the size of my fist.  I feel horrible for the frog and tell Mark to kill the snake, which he did.  Sean said “no” but it was too late.  Then he started crying, he was so devastated.  He loves snakes.  I totally forgot… he wants to be a reptile scientist.  My heart breaks for my sweet boy.  We take a walk and I promise that there are more snakes and we will find one.

Now every morning, we wake up and me who hates snakes is out there hunting for snakes in the garden with my little reptile scientist.

Happy Birthday my dear sweet Kristina, today you are SEVEN!  You warm my heart, make life completely unpredictable , and fill my life with purpose.  I love you so much!

Sean and Kristina are both just thrilled with each toy, each present seeming better than the one before, and you just can’t wait to play together with all your new toys.  Of course your big sister will orchestrate the fun.  Just two days ago she thought up the idea of everyone having a mailbox on their doors (she made of paper) so you could all send eachother notes.  Daily the notes are passed.  Kristina can only write limited words like I love you- so her notes are mostly love notes.  Sean loves to ask questions and Julia sends inpirational messages. 

The rock tumbler is now tumbling, you kids are excitedly playing with all your toys nicely together and now it’s time for mom and dad to hit the hot tub and reflect on our blessings!

Summer has brought so many good times, I love watching you kids play together.  You are so close, rarely fight and just love getting lost in the games of imagination that Julia creates for you.  We have been so busy, from camping every few weeks, boating and swimteam to visiting grandma and playing with friends.  I’m trying to spend as much time with you kids as possible, work brings such satisfaction yet so much guilt.  When I’m with you, I feel stress as I know there are things that need to be done for work and when I’m working, I want so desperately to be with you kids.  Guilt and stress – they go together, it’s this heavy weight that looms.  I know it serves no purpose, how does one get rid of the constant weight that bears down from just needing to be both a mom and run a business…

Sean my love lost his two front teeth this week, he’s such a doll, sweet to the core.  I love that all my children are so affectionate, so snuggly and still want me all the time.  Julia – a swimmer – who knew?!  She has such a great attitude on life, she lives for friends and is such a leader.  Kristina, my baby, you need mommy time and I’m giving you as much as I can. You are quite the swimmer, learning the crawl, backstroke and swimming like a fish underwater.  You claim to be the best swinger in the world as you can swing higher than any kid on the planet.

One of the things that brings me great joy is watching Julia’s Optimism.  Whenever things don’t go her way, she responds “oh well…” then she’ll elaborate a reason why it’s fine with her.  When someone asks her how she is, she replies  “great” because she wants to make sure they know she is great.  Fine or Good could just be an answer even when you’re feeling bad but “great” l leaves no doubt… she explains to me.  I tried to explain to her that she is an optimist with the lemons and lemonade idea and and she responded, even just lemons would be great… I love lemons… indeed she does.

Where does this optimism come from?  The belief that everything is going to be okay?  Grandma.  She passed this to me even in my darkest hours – she told me God had a plan for me.  Even after many years of trying and four miscarriages she assured me that I would be a mother some day.

Her deep belief in God and his love for me, his plans for my life were her assured answers to my deepest concerns.  Her constant praise and faith that I could be and do anything I wanted – built the foundation for my lifetime and this hope, optimism and confidence, I hope to pass onto my children in the same way she passed it down to me.

My parents legacy of love did not just affect their own children but countless others from the many foster kids they took in, exchange students and foreigners from around the world.  The net of love they have cast hit the water and the ripples touch the lives of many.  Has my mom changed the world… yes and most definitely for the better.

Click on this twice to see the Tribute

Happy Mother’s Day!

When I went to find this photo to demonstrate what an angel my mom is- I was suprised to see the halo on her head. Sure I KNOW she’s an angel but I’ve never actually SEEN the halo before.

What kind of woman hoots and hollers so loud at a basketball game to cheer on her grandson that even the umps hear her and are distracted?  The kind of woman who at 70+  searches the web for the mini-zippers for a ski outfit for the doll of grandaughter that just learned to ski, hand knits a scarf and hat and makes mini-doll size custom skis.

She’s the same kind of woman who will go out of her way every week to work with the poor in Schenectady, who will cry deeply when you’re hurt and give of her self until there is no more.

I could not admire anyone more than I admire my mom.  She is so full of love and effervescent joy.  She listens deeply when hard times hit and offers sage advice.  She is the person I most want to be like in life.

I have been blessed, my greatest blessing in life has been my mother. Thank you God for my mom.

Every year, the girls get together the first freezing weekend in March to celebrate Melissa Pagnotta’s birthday in Lake Placid.  She is an amazing woman, sweet, kind and fun.  These girls play hard, make you laugh until you pee your pants and ski like pros.  I can’t go into to details of what happens on girls weekend, I’m sworn to silence, but I do believe that every one – guys and girls – needs their own “gender” only weekend at least once a year. Remember what it was like to giggle all night long at your slumber parties when you were eight?  This is even better and it’s what makes life so great.  Happy Birthday Melissa!

You shower my face with kisses, you snuggle into my arms whenever they are free and you rush to bear hug me when we’ve only been apart for hours. Sean you are my affectionate one. You love to kiss my eyes, hold my hand, be held like a little monkey with your face snug in my neck, even your eyes shower me with love.

“Don’t you want to be healthy and happy?” I ask Nina as she refuses the broccoli, “Healthy don’t make me happy – being with mommy every day all the days makes me happy” Nina responds and it’s true, in her world there is nothing better than being with mom. Even friends pale in comparison to time spent alone with mom.

You don’t even care what we do, you are happy to play alone in my company even if I’m working. You have a proximity alarm and if I’m not near it goes off. “Mommy where are you?” You are almost five and refuse to become a big girl, so different from Julia who just couldn’t wait to be a big girl! I spoil you and coddle you, there is no doubt. You don’t want to go to pre-school, everyday, you ask if you can have a mommy day instead or if I’ll pick you up early (before the 1pm naptime instead of at 2:30 or 3). You are my baby and I love you.