Sean and Kristina are both just thrilled with each toy, each present seeming better than the one before, and you just can’t wait to play together with all your new toys.  Of course your big sister will orchestrate the fun.  Just two days ago she thought up the idea of everyone having a mailbox on their doors (she made of paper) so you could all send eachother notes.  Daily the notes are passed.  Kristina can only write limited words like I love you- so her notes are mostly love notes.  Sean loves to ask questions and Julia sends inpirational messages. 

The rock tumbler is now tumbling, you kids are excitedly playing with all your toys nicely together and now it’s time for mom and dad to hit the hot tub and reflect on our blessings!

Summer has brought so many good times, I love watching you kids play together.  You are so close, rarely fight and just love getting lost in the games of imagination that Julia creates for you.  We have been so busy, from camping every few weeks, boating and swimteam to visiting grandma and playing with friends.  I’m trying to spend as much time with you kids as possible, work brings such satisfaction yet so much guilt.  When I’m with you, I feel stress as I know there are things that need to be done for work and when I’m working, I want so desperately to be with you kids.  Guilt and stress - they go together, it’s this heavy weight that looms.  I know it serves no purpose, how does one get rid of the constant weight that bears down from just needing to be both a mom and run a business…

Sean my love lost his two front teeth this week, he’s such a doll, sweet to the core.  I love that all my children are so affectionate, so snuggly and still want me all the time.  Julia - a swimmer - who knew?!  She has such a great attitude on life, she lives for friends and is such a leader.  Kristina, my baby, you need mommy time and I’m giving you as much as I can. You are quite the swimmer, learning the crawl, backstroke and swimming like a fish underwater.  You claim to be the best swinger in the world as you can swing higher than any kid on the planet.

One of the things that brings me great joy is watching Julia’s Optimism.  Whenever things don’t go her way, she responds “oh well…” then she’ll elaborate a reason why it’s fine with her.  When someone asks her how she is, she replies  “great” because she wants to make sure they know she is great.  Fine or Good could just be an answer even when you’re feeling bad but “great” l leaves no doubt… she explains to me.  I tried to explain to her that she is an optimist with the lemons and lemonade idea and and she responded, even just lemons would be great… I love lemons… indeed she does.

Where does this optimism come from?  The belief that everything is going to be okay?  Grandma.  She passed this to me even in my darkest hours - she told me God had a plan for me.  Even after many years of trying and four miscarriages she assured me that I would be a mother some day.

Her deep belief in God and his love for me, his plans for my life were her assured answers to my deepest concerns.  Her constant praise and faith that I could be and do anything I wanted - built the foundation for my lifetime and this hope, optimism and confidence, I hope to pass onto my children in the same way she passed it down to me.

My parents legacy of love did not just affect their own children but countless others from the many foster kids they took in, exchange students and foreigners from around the world.  The net of love they have cast hit the water and the ripples touch the lives of many.  Has my mom changed the world… yes and most definitely for the better.

Click on this twice to see the Tribute

Happy Mother’s Day!

When I went to find this photo to demonstrate what an angel my mom is- I was suprised to see the halo on her head. Sure I KNOW she’s an angel but I’ve never actually SEEN the halo before.

What kind of woman hoots and hollers so loud at a basketball game to cheer on her grandson that even the umps hear her and are distracted?  The kind of woman who at 70+  searches the web for the mini-zippers for a ski outfit for the doll of grandaughter that just learned to ski, hand knits a scarf and hat and makes mini-doll size custom skis.

She’s the same kind of woman who will go out of her way every week to work with the poor in Schenectady, who will cry deeply when you’re hurt and give of her self until there is no more.

I could not admire anyone more than I admire my mom.  She is so full of love and effervescent joy.  She listens deeply when hard times hit and offers sage advice.  She is the person I most want to be like in life.

I have been blessed, my greatest blessing in life has been my mother. Thank you God for my mom.

Every year, the girls get together the first freezing weekend in March to celebrate Melissa Pagnotta’s birthday in Lake Placid.  She is an amazing woman, sweet, kind and fun.  These girls play hard, make you laugh until you pee your pants and ski like pros.  I can’t go into to details of what happens on girls weekend, I’m sworn to silence, but I do believe that every one - guys and girls - needs their own “gender” only weekend at least once a year. Remember what it was like to giggle all night long at your slumber parties when you were eight?  This is even better and it’s what makes life so great.  Happy Birthday Melissa!

You shower my face with kisses, you snuggle into my arms whenever they are free and you rush to bear hug me when we’ve only been apart for hours. Sean you are my affectionate one. You love to kiss my eyes, hold my hand, be held like a little monkey with your face snug in my neck, even your eyes shower me with love.

“Don’t you want to be healthy and happy?” I ask Nina as she refuses the broccoli, “Healthy don’t make me happy – being with mommy every day all the days makes me happy” Nina responds and it’s true, in her world there is nothing better than being with mom. Even friends pale in comparison to time spent alone with mom.

You don’t even care what we do, you are happy to play alone in my company even if I’m working. You have a proximity alarm and if I’m not near it goes off. “Mommy where are you?” You are almost five and refuse to become a big girl, so different from Julia who just couldn’t wait to be a big girl! I spoil you and coddle you, there is no doubt. You don’t want to go to pre-school, everyday, you ask if you can have a mommy day instead or if I’ll pick you up early (before the 1pm naptime instead of at 2:30 or 3). You are my baby and I love you.

It’s amazing really that I believe in anything at all. I’m the ultimate “doubting Thomas”. I have to see to believe and in this I’ve seen, so as odd as it sounds I believe in Shelbe. Add me to her cult, call me nuts and even I would doubt what I believe should I not have experienced this.

Both Sean and Julia are in-vitro miracle babies. I didn’t believe it would affect their health. But I spent most of the first 5 years of motherhood in the pediatrician’s office with constipation, allergies, sinus infections, ear infections, the flu, colds, bugs and what not. I joked that I should have my own personal room at the doctor’s office. There was rarely a day that we went without antibiotics, inhalers or some form of medicines in our house. Julia’s tummy pains were so bad and so frequent that I was sure she had some incurable disease. She kept us awake all night - many, many nights with her coughing – she was allergic to dust mites and had severe seasonal allergies and coughed and choked all night. We looked into the cost of removing all carpeting and replacing it with hardwoods in the house or even in her room but it was not in the budget that year.

Then we met Shelbe… I was warned “she only eats organic”… I didn’t even know what organic was, that movement had not hit NY yet. She was at our home for just fifteen minutes and she looked at Sean and asked about his history (he couldn’t speak well at 2 years old). I explained that he couldn’t talk as he had many ear infections as a child, everything he heard sounded like others were speaking under water. Then I added that we got tubes. To which Shelbe said “and now he has sinus infections” I was surprised, “Yes”… She looked at Sean and said, I believe he’s allergic to milk. May I test him? Then she did something crazy, she had him hold milk and tested his muscle’s reaction to the milk in his hands with her fingers and concluded. Yes, he’s allergic to milk.

Shelbe then asked me about Julia and I told her that she was on allergy meds and some type of diuretic. Shelby asked if I thought that was normal. I said I don’t know what’s normal. I give her prunes and prune juice daily, only feed her heavy fiber breads and nothing makes a difference. She suggested we shop together the next day. I admit, I didn’t really believe her but I bought what she suggested. I though the organic “nutrition movement” was a lot of hype. But I did what she said. Sean’s constant drooling stopped, his nose no longer dripped, Julia stopped crying about her tummy pains and the constant coughing all night long stopped.

Even still, doubting Thomas that I am, I could not believe, I had to test it. A few weeks later, we gave Sean milk… we replaced Ezekiel Bread with soft wheat bread and saw all the old symptoms come back… ok, ok, I’m convinced (sort of) and I go back to all that she taught - healthy fats: avocados, nuts, coconut and olive oils, eggs, raw milks and cheeses, grass fed beef, free range chickens, fertile eggs and raw dairy, quinoa, organ meats, kefir, yogurt, flax, limit sugar. It’s so foreign from what I’m used to…. But it works. We are not sick, Julia doesn’t cough, Sean’s constant nose drip and sinus infections disappear. We are healthy, three years without being sick for more than a day.

Yes, I believe in the gift that Shelbe has. When we first met, she told me she had a “gift”, I never met anyone who thought they had a gift who wasn’t lying or crazy. But I have now. I do believe she’s a gifted healer, through knowledge yes, but a gift and I believe this gift and it has shaped who I am - a bit of a nutrition freak in upstate NY where cheetos and Capri Suns rule.

Kristina is going to marry Sean - he is the only boy for her, Sean is going marry Katie - she is only girl for her. Cousin Katie wants to marry Sean.

Day 4: We moved into our new offices on Monday, though we still are under construction, we are thrilled with our new space at Union Square.  Tom O’Neill, our landlord, worked relentlessly to the to bring our dream space into fruition.  With spectacular sunsets and views of West Mountain to just the sheer “space” of the offices, we are so happy.  We couldn’t have done it without Mary Whiteford and Jessica Mossey of Conley Associates, they are design wizards, who turned an old warehouse into a funky space, Jill Yard of Carpet Network was also unbelievable to work with.  With just days to get carpet - she sourced all the manufacturers to find the best carpet, that was in-stock and at a great rate - we tried many carpet sources and she was the only one to come to the plate and she hit a home run!  Ed Ostberg of Design Function, designed custom desk pods that fit our needs (eventually, we’ll mount all the computer screens as he intended), he had great vision on the planning of the space and the signage.

Thanks to all who helped make this dream a reality.

At Cape Canaveral Florida 12-2008

I’ve always been a work-a-holic.  Waking up at 7am and working till midnight was never a chore.  I love my job and love that I can make a difference in people’s lives through “making them found on the web”.

Even after having three children, I tempered my hours a little to spend time with them from 5-9pm and on weekends but still worked every other hour albeit at home, so I could be with them during breaks.

Things changed for me this summer, I always thought of myself as a “dot.com mom” but the MOM part completely took over.  I had the “fortunate” experience to be so badly burned by my children’s nanny last winter that I swore, I would never have another nanny in my life.  So when school was out in June, I did something most “business-owners” wouldn’t or couldn’t do… I stopped working full time for the summer and spent the summer working only 8-11 a.m. and spent the rest of the days with the kids being what I always wanted to be a “stay-at-home mom”.  I am so blessed with the  brilliant people who work at Mannix Marketing, Inc., people I trust 100% with the business, not to mention a husband who quit his job to join the company and is every bit as passionate about the mission as I am.

School is back on… but my youngest is sick today, so as I flit around my home office in a tiara and pink wings pretending to be a computer fairy keep her smiling while answering emails, I thank God that we don’t use the webcams on the computers for communication - skype is enough!