Sara Mannix

My first job that I liked out of college was working for Peter Fressola at United Colors of Benetton.  He was the PR director and I will never forget the millions of red correction marks he made on my first two paragraph article for the company newsletter.  Each time that I submitted my article he would send it back (patiently) with red marks and notes on how to be a better writer.  Peter was kind to me, he was a perfectionist but rather than doing it himself, he was a teacher and he is the first person to whom I owe much gratitude for where I am.  Patrizia Spinelli (also at Benetton was my second mentor).  She taught me how to dress. OK, I admit I’m still not where she wanted me to be.  I remember her with such love and adoration, she would smile and laugh and say “no no no Saaaraaaaa” and add a scarf to my outfit. 

20 years ago when I moved back to Queensbury after living in NYC, I found a mentor in Larry, the Director of Marketing for Jiminy Peak.  He invited me to Jiminy Peak taught me everything he knew about marketing. He was not my boss and he had no reason to be so generous with his time, except that he was truly an altruistic person who loved this art.  Mary Brandt was my next mentor, she taught me not to fall into the blame game.  She was open to new ideas (and I had quite a few of them) and we made them happen which brought business but due to my youth and inexperience, I did not plan each idea through as it should have been planned, this caused chaos.  When the other managers were angry (because we had too much business and not enough staff or fore-warning from me that there would be so much business)… she brought us all together in a positive learning environment and taught me how to learn from my mistakes in a positive way.

Next was working for Jeff Jacobs, a marketing genius who taught me to look and interpret stats, numbers and analytics.  We learned to “mail your buyers, mail your buyers, mail your buyers” and to decipher between one time buyers and loyal clients.

Now it’s my turn… who do I inspire? whose life do I change?   I really didn’t think anyone until I got this amazing email from my first graphic design assistant 20+ years ago.  How nice it was to hear from her… do I remember her, she asks… of course. This was my first thank you.   My first note ever to say I had a positive influence on her life.  How now, do I keep paying it forward?

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For Julia, Sean and Kristina

I hope you will be outrageously confident… but never arrogant
I hope you will admire your competitors for what they do well and never dismiss them or mention the things they don’t do well
I hope you will respect those older than you and never assume they don’t know as much as you do
Have the poise and grace to admit what you don’t know and when you are wrong

These are mistakes I have made and here is the story…

I tend to charge at life fully confident in my knowledge of internet marketing and the world therein. I charge ahead knowing that I know my stuff. When that confidence crossed over to arrogance that’s when I was really humbled.

Lesson#1 in Humility: I thought I was prepared; I had researched the clients’ industry, business, case studies and their competitors before I meet with them- so I was the expert. But even in doing the research before a presentation last week, I was completely humbled as I did not know my subject well enough and I lacked the humility to admit it. When my slide was challenged, without full knowledge of the circumstances of the example, I forged ahead defending my position. After all, the man challenging me was much older than I and how could he know more than me about social media? I was informed that my audience knew nothing of social media marketing and I underestimated my audience and learned that no matter what feedback is offered one should always listen respectfully and ask questions. It’s okay not to always have the answers… my biggest regret, missing the opportunity to listen to my challenger’s answers and expertise.

Lesson #2 in Humility: There was once a guy, who asked me about my approach to internet marketing, I shared with him what I knew… years later – excited he tried to share with me what he knew… I dismissed his ideas as irrelevant. When the person’s business was brought up, I stooped so low as to say something negative about it. I don’t know what possessed me but I felt super convicted (your grandmother would say that was the Holy Spirit talkin’). A week later I saw a presentation that the “guy” had done… wow… I was blown away… he really did know his stuff.

So my dears, I hope…

You will be outrageously confident yet humble
You will admire your competition for where they excel & bite your tongue on their shortcomings..
You will never judge a book by its cover, always be respectful and listen..
Have the poise and grace to concede to those with more knowledge

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Yesterday I got to take my camera and shoot the “flash mob” in Glens Falls.  It was such a blast.  Glens Falls is such a small place, anywhere you go, you are likely to see a friend, a mom from school or a collegue from work. I love Queensbury and Glens Falls but better yet, I love the region that I live in, from Saratoga to Lake George and the Adirondacks, we really have it all.

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Yesterday, I dropped my little baby off at Camp for a two night overnight stay.  I feel exhausted from the stress.  She’s seven but she really wanted to go so badly.   I was totally fine with it until I actually left her.  I heard that going to camp is the single most meaningful & positive experience a child can have without their family, I wanted my baby to grow more confident, independent and strong… so we let her go. 

However, when I saw where she was staying a big rubber tent with no screening… with no counselor in the tent, I freaked out.  Someone could snatch her up in the middle of the night, she could get bitten, she could be scared and not wake anyone up… on and on my mind went into every paranoid horrible possible outcome. 

She seemed fine when I left the camp, completely unaware of the potential danger her mother had left her in, I smiled and pretended all would be okay then I cried the whole way home.  As soon as I got home, I called the camp director and told her how freaked out I was, she assured me the counselors checked on the kids multiple times during the night and were in the very next tent over and heard everything. 

I cried some more and asked my husband if I was paranoid and crazy – he assured me that I was.  I emailed my friend whose daughter also went and was greatly relieved to know her husband was as tortured as much as me and wants also to go back and pick up his baby.  “Honey” I ask Mark “what do you think if I go pick her up now”… “it will not be good for her”… “oh… OK”, I know he’s right, he usually is. 

I’m a grown woman, 44, when I was a kid that was OLD… now I’m a mom and inside I feel so often like a little girl with emotions that overwhelm me from insecurities to fears but as adults we call them worries.  My little one is the most all-consuming of my kids, I feel guilty for wanting a break when I need one, I feel frustrated that I can never give her enough of me and sometimes she exhausts me, yet take her away for just one day and I’m lost.  I miss my little angel and now I’m the clingy one.

…

I just got back from picking her up.  When I went to sign her out the camp director said, “she really missed you quite a bit”… I looked at her for more information… “I mean well she was really tired and she was quite vocal about how much she missed you”… “all the time?, did she have any fun?”… “she enjoyed the crafts”.  This sent my head spinning, my eyes welled with tears again paranoia sets in waited to meet her. She looks dejected then sees me and runs and we hold each other and it is beautiful, I’m holding my angel and it feels so good!  Oh how I’ve missed her.

She doesn’t say much on the way home… she really liked Leah from Loudonville … there was one wasp, one mosquito and 14 spiders in the tent, there were three colors of caps, she got the middle color which meant she was a good swimmer but not in the best category, she notes that none of the kids her age got the best color, “if we wanted a counselor or to go to the bathroom at night, we had to wake up a friend to go get them” she says… “Sometimes we couldn’t find our flashlight or it didn’t work”… “did you like your counselor?” I ask… she shrugs.  “Would you like to go to a camp with your sister next year where you sleep in real cabins with doors?” “maybe” she answers…

My little one rarely expresses when things go wrong, I have no idea where her head is at or what really happened, but she seems fine.  And most likely, we are both stronger and better for the experience.

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